Signs

Do you ever travel down the road and see ridiculous signs? I remember one day driving through our town in Connecticut and seeing not only a bumper sticker reading, “G-d loves Johnny Cash,” but also one of those custom license plate holders that read, “I’d rather be watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Too bad for all those Twilight fans, cause she’s coming after your beloved Edward. But even with this craziness, Connecticut can’t beat Alabama.

A little background: it is January. I haven’t worn a coat, jacket, scarf, or even a sweater since I got down here to Alabama, except in the rain. I understand that this has been a mild winter up north, but I still got that fantastic call from my mother telling me that she hated me because she was shoveling her car out of the snow while I was wearing a T-shirt. Yet, I pass signs down here that read “Bridges May Ice In Winter.” It’s 60 degrees down here when it is cold. Maybe it gets slightly colder at night, and there was that snowstorm last year that introduced adults here in Enterprise to snow for the first time. I suppose that these signs are a useful reminder for people who might forget that ice is a natural phenomenon and not just something that comes out of your freezer to cool your sweet tea. Yet even if I can understand these bridge signs, there is one sign I will never understand.

On the drive from Dothan to Enterprise along US 84 there is a sign that reads, “Is your car ready for winter?” WHAT?!? Do we need snow tires down here? Do we need to make sure our heat is working in case we get stuck in a snowdrift for hours like Renee Zellweger in New in Town? Maybe the sign means we should make sure our truck is ready for tailgating the Super Bowl. The world may never know.